Fringepig : Missile Warning

imagesIts been a great August for the Mumble this year – but it just wouldn’t be the same without vitriolic nobheads FRINGEPIG having their annual pop at comedy reviewers. They’ve already singled out one of Divine’s reviews for ‘that-review-was-pants‘ accolade (the Ham Fist Award), & now the latest member of their team, Barrie Morgan, is about to write an article damning us & everything we stand for – I tried to tell him the Mumble’s like an epic poem, attempting to record the cultural zeitgeist of our times, but he’s like THATS JUST NOT HOW IT WORKS!’ He also told us why the folk at Fringepig are so damn angry…

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I think this is because they are ex-comedians who had amateurs review them. I’d also like to include most of that paragraph in which you slag off FringePig in the article. Again, I’ll send you the finished piece to check before i submit it to Kipper.

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In my eyes there is no such thing as an ‘amateur’ reviewer. Laughter is the most natural thing in the world, & if you’re eloquent enough to describe the acquisition or non-acquisition of said happy state, you are perfectly entitled to be called a comedy reviewer. Some, albeit, are less eloquent than others, & we here at the Mumble have a certain quality control as to who goes out in the field – but one thing we don’t do is tell them what they can or cannot laugh at. It is upon this point that the Fringepig posse have such trouble dealing with reality… they’re like, ‘we’re comedians, we know whats funny, so if you don’t get us then you aren’t entitled to write about us!’
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Its quite sad really… but kinda quaint… so as soon Mr Morgan’s article is up we shall add it in full to this post. He has been interviewing me this morning & I’ve fed him a load of crap, so it should be funny to see how it turns oot.
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THE INEVITABLE CONCLUSION
Here’s how it panned oot after heading Barrie off at the pass…
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Barrie

You spelt knobheads wrong.

Also, as a freelance journalist I may take this story elsewhere.

Me

Hurry up buggarlugs & write it – im going out in a bit – id like to get it up on mumble comedy before the afternoon

Barrie

Nah

Me

1-0 Mumble

A Brief Note on the Spelling of Nobhead A few folk attacking the Mumble recently have said to me that knobhead is the correct spelling of nobhead, however, that implies I am comparing them to a door knob, when I am in fact comparing them to a penis 

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Divine DJ-ing at Audio Soup Festival
Divine DJ-ing at Audio Soup Festival

Divine’s Retort :

The Fringe Pig Are Irrelevant!

The Mumble Grows

While The Fringe Pig Stagnates

Waiting for The Flames To Be Hot enough

For The Spit. And A Hog Roast.

I Think Its Vitriol For Supper.

Oink Oink!

Another Mumbler’s Opinion

These guys are obviously fucktards of the first order… Criticism of critics is usually reserved for the artists who actually produce something.  Which is thankfully what all Mumble writers do in other fields.  What have these folk produced? Noms De Guerre not-withstanding.  I repeat: Fucktards.

AND THE WINNER WAS

(Not Divine)

The aforementioned 'Fucktards'
The aforementioned ‘Fucktards’
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2 thoughts on “Fringepig : Missile Warning

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