PART 2 OF THE LEITHOLOGY QUINTOLOGY
SCENE 8a: The Mashhouse (continued)
Brooklyn is chatting to the General / Hamish, Stacey, Nelson & City are dancing – Enter Krissie & Katie – Brooklyn notices them arrive & makes his approch
Brooklyn
Here you go ladies, open wide
Katie
What are they
Brooklyn
Top grade ecstasy
Krissie
I’ll have one
Katie
Go on then, why not
Brooklyn
That’s for being the best looking girls in da house – so whats your names?
Katie
I’m Katie, this is Krissie
Krissie
We do everything together
Brooklyn
Cool, they call me Brooklyn… DJ Brooklyn – I organised this little soiree you are currently attending – are you enjoying yourselves
Katie
You’ve done well, we were just saying that, good effort dude
DJ Brooklyn
My pleasure
Enter The Cool Pool General
General
Alright girls
Katie & Krissie
Hiya
General
{to Brooklyn}
Aren’t ya gonna introduce us
Brooklyn
Sorry – where are my manners – ladies, this is my esteem’d gentleman friend The Cool Pool General – General meet ehmm, ehmm, this is erm… erm… O fuck it… I’m gonna call ya Real Madrid & Barcelona – General, mate, meet Madrid & Barca
General
Nice one ladies… so who’s up for a rave?
Katie & Krissie cheer their encouragement then hit the dancefloor with the General & Brooklyn / City approaches Nelson
City
Alright handsome
Nelson
Hey, City
City
Where’s Lily
Nelson
Shes in the loo I think – where’s Larry
City
He’s off chatting with some of his ‘associoates’ – you do know you’re a bit of a fox, don’t ya –
Nelson
A what?
City
A fox – you’re foxy
Nelson
I am?
City
Yeah, we’d a made a nice couple me & you, like the king & queen of the prom
Nelson
I’ve never thought about it to be honest
City
What, so since you’ve met me, even deep in your subconscious, you’ve never imagined what it would be like to, y’know, go with me on a high speed train
Nelson
A what
City
On a high speed train, when ya trevellin…’ Intercity
Nelson
Ehm
City
{kicking off her shoes}
I’m only teasin,’ come on, lets have a proper dance
***
FLIRTELITY
Nelson
Shes got no shoes on
I put my moves on
Its time to cruise on up
To the girl with the suncookin tan
City
I think hes clocked me
He’s proper cockey
Hope he’s no Cockney nob
Because hes a good lookin man
Nelson
She looks obscure
I’d like to do her
I’m lookin thro her top
& I stop cos I wanna cop some more
City
I’m up & struttin
Slip slide & slutty
Its time to cut inside
As I glide to his side cross the floor
Nelson
Ahh its kissin time
Gonna taste the tongue o’ this girl so fine
City
NO— you aint got there yet
I’m hangin on for my tete-a-tete
Nelson
I got my eye in
Cheatin & lyin
She is a lionesse
But I’m blest with a fast sharp fork tongue
City
He gives me twirl style
Twist like a turn style
Whippin the whirl while
I’m just happy ba-bobbin along
Nelson
I put my oar in
She’s all but snoring
She finks im borin’
But I’d test the best of Cairo
City
I like ya near
My hemisphere
I’d like to be ya
Date, or mate, or would you like to know
Nelson
I’m just killing time
Until the time your tongue is mine
City
Pure apocalypse when kissing slips
Between our lips
Nelson
You’ve got to keep on
Push down the pylons
Set off the fire alarms
City
Then keep the beat strong
Let your feet stomp
It wont be long before were one
Nelson & City
& when were both in harmony
That’s you & me in ecstasy
& when weve gone & harmonized
We’ll keep the feeling feelin’ really nice
You & me that’s harmony
Me & you, what shall we do
Nelson
I fink shes foxy
Without her socks yeah
Completely rocks the world
This girl with the sun cookin tan
City
He’s such a honey
So cute & funny
I’d like to run him home
Hmm-hmm he’s a good lookin man
***
Enter Lily
Lily
Whats goin’ on here then
Nelson
We were just having a boogie
City
Yeah, he’s got some nice moves has your man
Lily
He does, does he?
Enter Larry
Larry
Alright people – guess what I’ve got– Oh, you’ll never guess –I’ve only just gone & scored a gram of proper Walter White – cheeky line anyone
City
Walter White! Where the fuck did you get that from babe
Larry
Its coming in through the Chinese students
Lily
Nice one… I haven’t had any of that in years
Larry
Well shall we partake in the booth, its pretty discreet there
Lily
We’ll be with you in a minute
City
That is a proper score Larry
Larry
I thought so!
Exit City & Larry
Nelson
I’ve got this feeling you’re pissed off with me or something
Lily
Am I – I wonder why
Nelson
We were only dancing
Lily
Your hands were all over her – & you’ve got a semi -I should have left you to rot in jail, life’s a struggle enough without letting fucked-up muppets like you into it
Nelson
But baby, you’re the green mint triangle in the quality street box of my heart – the semi is because I’m talking to you
Lily
Is it
Nelson
Of course it is, our bodies are connected, like, spiritually
Lily
I’m really sorry – I’m not the jealous type, but I’ve only just found ya & I’m terrified of losing ya
Nelson
Come here
Lily & Nelson embrace
Lily
It’s not a semi anymore
Nelson
Come on, lets have that line
Exit a loved-up Lily & Nelson / Enter TC & Stacey luvd up
TC
Yo Brooklyn!
Brooklyn
Whats happening bro?
TC
Hold the decks for a couple of tunes will ya, me & Stacey are gonna have a dance
Brooklyn
No worries – & by the way, I’m proud of ya – you’re doing a wicked job pal, totaly saved the day
TC
It’s what I do, innit – I’m glad you asked me anyway, its kind of alright, this disco malarkey – gizza cuddle
TC & Brooklyn embrace
Stacey
Come on gaylord, lets boogie
SOLARIZED
TC
I cannot pretend
You don’t have a dart
It shot thro the smoke
& shatter’d my heart
Yes I know this is always
The way of the ravers
When you’re dancing for fun
Then some honey blows you away
In every way
I’m hypnotized
I’m making a bed in her eyes
I’m solarized
She might be the love of my life!
She is dancing
Stacey
We are dancing…
TC
Is this all a game
Some chemical ruse
My soul is aflame
It burns for my muse
She inspires me these fires
Are eternally blazing
When shes dancing for me
She can see that she blows me away
In every way
I’m hypnotized
She’s siftin’ the love from the lies
I’m solarized
She might be the light of my life
She is dancing
Stacey & TC
We are dancing…
Katie & Krissie start chatting up Brooklyn at the decks & distract him
TC
I’m open to something excepting evasive sensations
The twilight is over her solar eyes blow me away
In every way
I’m hypnotized
I think that I’ve just realized
I’m solarized
I’ve danced with the love of my life
O yes she is
There’s no doubt about it
O yes she is
I’m gonna scream & shout it
O yes she is
There’s no doubt it
No doubt about it
Tune finishes / Brooklyn becomes flustered / crowd moan their dissappreciation
TC
{running back to the decks}
Brooklyn, what ya playin’ at?
Enter the Silver Strobes…
THE CONCHORDIA FOLIO
“Its worth a pop, right, to try & knock that Shakespeare
Off his feffin’ perch!”
Interview: Damian Beeson Bullen
