Tinky Disco: Scenes 8b-9


PART 2 OF THE LEITHOLOGY QUINTOLOGY


SCENE 8b: The Mashhouse (continued)

The Silver Strobes are singer Aletia, keyboardist Primrose & guitarist Roger – Primrose & Roger start setting up their gear

TC
{picking up mike}
Sorry about that people – yer next tune’s coming right up

Aletia
{grabbing mike}
& it will be being played by the Silver Strobes, thank-you

TC
Who the fuck are you

Aletia
We’re the band, the Silver Strobes, where’s DJ Brooklyn

Brooklyn
That’s me, I’m Brooklyn

Aletia
You booked us to play tonight, right

Brooklyn
I did, but, you’re a bit late don’t you think

Aletia
Apologies for our tardiness, but its never too late for live disco

Roger
We’re in

Aletia
OK – la music sil vous plait

***

KATHMANDU

We’re setting the floor on fire
We’re setting the room on fire
We’re setting the roof on fire
We’re setting the house on fire

Summon us inside of you
Up in the hills of Kathmandu

We’re setting the land on fire
We’re setting the skies on fire
We’re setting the world on fire
We’re setting us all on fire

Summon us inside of you
Up in the hills of Kathmandu

 

I’m a disco lover & im breakin it down
Like a good time lover when the sun goes down
& all ya fun lovin people gonna hit the floor
Hit the floor hit the floor
When ya want some more
break it down

When the dealers fix us up
& the dj picks it up
all the minxes sex it up
It’s a disco mix it up

Shes foxy shake it down
Hes rockin all over town
One fun-funk family
kinky disco energy

When the bass lines burn it up
& the faces turn it up
Theres a heatwave on the floor
We’re the kids in a candy store

Hit the dance floor crank it up
Tinky disco crank it up
Hit the dance floor crank it up
Spin around & spank it up

We’re setting the spheres on fire
We’re setting the moon on fire
We’re setting the sun on fire
We’re setting us stars on fire

Summon us inside of you
Up in the hills of Kathmandu

Ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah
Ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah, Ah-ah-ah-ah

**

The crowd show massive appreciation – lights go up at the end of the song – Brooklyn takes the mike

Brooklyn
Wow, that was astounding, but times up people, its 3AM – thanks for coming down everybody & I’ll see you next time

The crowd moan their dissaffection

Brooklyn
There’s nothing I can do, guys – but remember, you’ve all been living legends tonight & I’ll see you at the next Wildcat Production

Aletia
Right, that’ll be 600

Brooklyn
You what – I’m not paying you 600 bucks for one fucking tune

Aletia
Look Brooklyn, we signed a contract when you booked us – there was no stipulation as to how long we played, just as long as we played,

Brooklyn
Look, right here you, – this is Scotland, you cant get away with that bullshit up here

Roger
Look sunshine, ya gonna pay us a what

Brooklyn
I aint paying ya £600 for one song

Primrose
But the crowd were loving it

Brooklyn
They were enjoying it, yeah, but they weren’t loving it – let me show you how high proper love from crowd can go – gimme that fuckin mike – TC – spin that shit

TC starts playing a cheezy disco track

Brooklyn
No, no, no, not disco, I mean some proper deep hip-hop beats bro

TC
Gotcha

***

IN DA HOUSE

TC
All the girlies in the house go yo (yo)

Brooklyn
Hand by hand we threaten this land
Making excuses just to expand
Twisted earth twisted land
DJ Brooklyn wants demands

From Edinburgh streets our memories bleed
Our bodies share the same scars
Metal tubes that we call cars
Ruin the skies & natures past

 

Crowd
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s the man…..

Brooklyn
Green grass throughout the land
New presidents elected ain’t so grand
Hold the world in warm hands
Iceberg cities melts into sand
Sewing the seeds for creative needs
Beneath dark streets the light is weak
DJ Brooklyn escapes with weed
Ignoring their fake news news news feeds

Crowd
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s the man…..

Brooklyn
We go where the wildlife flows
Following it down low, low, low

TC
All the girlies in the house say yo (yo)

Brooklyn
This is the way it should be
Work together & we’ll be free

TC
What ya saying Brooklyn!

Brooklyn
This is the way it should be
Work together & we’ll be free
Split nations on their knees
Crumpl’d spirits we will not be

Crowd
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
Comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s comin at ya two-time stylin’
DJ Brooklyn, in Da House,
He’s the man…..

Brooklyn
I’m the man…..

Enter Copper 1 & Copper 2 who switch off the music with a scratch / the crowd moan their dissaffection

Copper 1
We’ve been having complaints

Nelson
Not you two again

Copper
You can hear these tunes in the Grassmarket, we’re pulling the plug

Brooklyn
Alright mate, its game over, no sweat

Copper 1
If we hear another peep we’ll confiscate all the equipment

Copper 1
We’ll be watchin you lot

Copper 2
He means listening

Copper 1
Yeah, & watching as well

Copper 2
Behave yourselves

Nelson
{to exiting Coppers}
Nobheads

Aletia
We still want paying by the way

TC
& me, Brooklyn

Brooklyn
Alright look – here’s 300 for you Aletia, thanks for coming, it was your car that broke down, not mine… here’s your 500 TC, like promised, plus 20 for the pills, plus another 20 for four more cos looking at those two
{pointing at Katie & Krissie doing an erotic lesbo dance}
I’m gonna need em

TC
Look guys – fuck the po-lice, this party aint finished, lets all go down Leith Links – I’ll get a taxi to mine, pick up mi power speakers – they’re battery powered

Hamish
What about the Criminal Justice act of 1994

TC
What’s that

Hamish
Its when they bann’d gatherings characterised by the emission of a succession of repetitive beats – its still in force mate, even in Scotland

TC
Change of plan, we’re going up Arthur’s Seat instead – they’ll never get the meatwagons up there

Stacey
Wo-hoo – there aint no-one gonna stop us raving TC


SCENE 9: Edinburgh

Leith from Arthur’s Seat

CRIMINAL INJUSTICE

Exit everybody / they enter the Cowgate / the police are watching on

Brooklyn
These are our streets
These are our Scottish streets
& we can dance here if we want to
Midst the boulevards & fountains
But if I’m in the mountains
Making music with my friends
They can brand us tinky criminals
I guess that just depends
Upon your laws
No we don’t need them anymore
Cos its the rave
We’ve been waiting for
I said hello
Let’s dance like 1994
Cos its the rave
We’ve been waiting for

The party reach the Scottish Parliament / Holyrood Palace area

Nelson
After the rave
There is a melody
Something has changed
singing for you and me
After the rave
I’ll find the better me
I know I’ll survive
Cos when I look to the skies
I feel I’m feeling alive
Because I’m back with my tribe

The party moves into Holyrood Park

TC
These are our beats
These are our precious beats
& we can dance here if we want to
Midst the fauna & the heather
But when comes the paranoia
Of the government alarms
we can stick it to the lawyers
From our eco-friendly farms
I said hello, lets dance like 1994
Cos its the rave
We’ve been waiting for
& all your laws
No we don’t need them anymore
Cos its the rave
We’ve been waiting for

The party reach the top of Arthur’s Seat

Lily
After the rains
Then comes the rainbow
Something has changed
There is a new hope
After the rave
We’ll shoot a telescope
Up, up to the skies
Where I’m back with my tribe

Everybody
After the dark
There is a synergy
Up with the lark
Singing for you and me
After the rave
We’ll share a memory
I open my eyes
& as I look to the skies
I see I’m feelin alive

After the rains
Then comes the sun again
We can obtain
Light in the world of men
Into my veins just like a medicine
I’m feelin alive because I’ve opened my eyes


THE CONCHORDIA FOLIO

“Its worth a pop, right, to try & knock that Shakespeare
Off his feffin’ perch!

 

Interview: Damian Beeson Bullen


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