Alibi: Scenes 1-2


PART 1 OF THE LEITHOLOGY QUINTOLOGY


SCENE 1 – Peebles Town Centre

 Brenda the Busker is sat underneath a cash machine with a guitar & a fake comedy dog / she is singing a song / enter a Wee Gadgie

Brenda
Alright big man, help the homeless

Wee Gadgie
I’m skint mate

Brenda
No worries, have a good night

Wee Gadgie
How am I gonna have a good night with no money, get a fuckin’ job yer hobo

Exit Wee Gadgie, enter Nelson

Brenda
Nelson!!

Nelson
Alright Brenda, hows trix

Brenda
Y’know, surviving… but wots up wi’ you Nelson, your face is trippin’ ya

Nelson
Bad day at work, y’know, my boss is a pain-in-the ass

Brenda
I’ve never had a boss, me… I’m me own boss –

Nelson
Lucky you

Brenda
Spare any change?

Nelson
What, I earn it so you can spend it on smack

Brenda
Nah, mate, gone clean, sorted me ‘ed out – this is just for the hostel tonight

Nelson
{giving change}
Why not, I’ve put in a bit of overtime this week

Brenda
Nice one fella
{Nelson starts drawing out his money}
Yo Nelson – you’ve been comin to this cash point every Friday now for as long as I can remember, wearing the same old chinos & the same pair of shoes

Nelson
Yeah, & you’ve been here every fuckin time

Brenda
I know that, its mi job innit, but what do you do every Friday night

Nelson
You know, the usual, I go down the pub with me mates – that’s where I’m off to now, for a night on the tiles

Brenda
{standing up}
Look, mate, since I’ve got my head together I’ve been thinking a lot about you & I got some advice for ya

***

TURNAROUND

Brenda
Kid make a fresh start
Let’s take the new road to walk down
Cos you know in your heart
That it’s time to leave your hometown
It’s a big world out there
Millions of girls your own age, horny
Let me tell you man I swear
If i had the chance I would always keep on moving

Nelson
I’ve bin grindin my bones for all these years
For a sackful o stones & a sink full of tears
First they fill you with loans
& then they kill your ideas
Our planet – is waiting for us all

 

Brenda
It’s time to turnaround (x 3)
& head on down the loose track baby
& never turnaround & think of home
& then o maybe
You will find a finer place of liberty & life
The tales you’ll tell beside the fireplace
To all your children & their children

Nelson
I’ve bin stuck in a rut & I can’t break free
Bin bustin mi gut in a factory
Industrial slut & I’ve lost my dreams
But our planet – is waitin for us all

Brenda
It’s time to turnaround
It’s time to turnaround
It’s time to turnaround
& hear the sound of your heart singin
Come on boy leave ya friends
& family & all the things you know
It’s time to go, cos there’s
A better life if you can find it
& tho the road is lined with trials
There’s mystery if you don’t mind it

Brenda & Nelson
It’s time to (time to) turnaround
It’s time to (time to) turnaround

***

Nelson
Cheers mate, ya right, this towns shit, I might as well split, the worlds my oyster innit, but where should I go first?

Brenda
The big city kid, it’ll make a man o yer

Nelson
The Big City – what, Glasgow?

Brenda
Fuckoff – not Weegieland, it’s full of numpties, I meant the capital, the capital of Scotland – the Athens of the North, the Dingwall of the South – Edinburgh

Nelson
Well, I’ve always thought about checkin’ it one day

Brenda
Of course you should laddie – I mean look at this place – it’s more like a retirement village – you should be thinkin about visitin the continent – not the incontinent – This place is just a graveyard with a TK Max

Nelson
You know, you’re right, I think I’m gonna do it

Brenda
Of course I’m right, the streets are in my blood, bruother – I see everything me – anyway, there’s a bus leaving this evening, why don’t you get yourself on it

Nelson
Tonight…. that’s a bit soon, innit

Brenda
Time & red hot, horny ladies shaking their asses on a Friday night wait for no man

Nelson
I’m gonna do it – yeah, fuck it, I’m, I’m doing it – I’ll send you a postcard, yeah

Brenda
Not to this bank though, I get all my mail sent to the Barclays up the road

Nelson
Right O, catch yer on the flipside sister



SCENE 2 – Edinburgh

A busy Princes Street – TC is hanging out – Nelson gets off the bus

Nelson
Wow this is mental – look at the buildings, the trams – the double-decker busses – the shops – the castle – the women!

TC
Welcome to the capital kid, you sound like you’re from outta town, where ya from

Nelson
Some place ya never heard of

TC
Just arrived have ya

Nelson
Yeah, I’m fresh off the bus

TC
Cool, they call me TC

Nelson
Nelson

TC
Say, kid, its Friday night, I’m goin ravin, you like to party

Nelson
Sometimes

TC
Well my mates just given me a few cheeky pills – the very the latest out of Amsterdam

Nelson
What, ecstasy

TC
Yeah… he flew in this morning with a few hundred stuck up his ass

Nelson
Uuuugh

TC
Dont worry, he used protection – now then, do wanna try one or not

Nelson
Go on then

TC
Here you go pal – tell me what ya think

{TC passes Nelson a pill}

Nelson
Uuugh – that tastes rank

TC
That’s the MDMA that is, the more bitter it tastes, the better the mash-up, right

Nelson
I guess so – wait a minute – fuckin hell

TC
Are you alright kid

Nelson
I think so… I come up on my drugs straight away me – my doctor says its my hyperactive metabolisms or something

***

ULTRA-GROOVY HIGH

Nelson
There’s nothing of this world
Like a free & easy man
He can do whatever he wants to
& what he likes he’ll do
Whatever, whenever he can
I’m a-rollin, easy strollin
Down the road, I hear my callin
In the music that I’m singin man
Its the only way to make the streets
Your own

Because the way I’m feelin now
I didn’t even know that it existed,
The way I’m feelin ultra-groovy
Brothers & my sisters
& I might be a nobody
But I’m the star o’ my own movie
Up, down, turnaround
I’m ultra-groovy high

 

TC
Wooah kid… are you alright

Nelson
No, mate, I’m really suffering

TC
Shit, sorry

Nelson
Yeah I’m suffering… from a case of top quality banter

TC
Ha-ha – its them pills mate, so they’re proper decent, yeah?

Nelson
Fuckin magic mate, I’m flyin here

TC
Wicked, I might try one myself

Nelson
What, have you never tried these before

TC
Course not, I always get a muppet to neck one first… Lookin at the nick of you I might just have an half

Nelson
Ya cheeky bastard

TC
Cheeky’s my middle name kid

Nelson
I’m a-skippin thro the subways
In my bliss’d-out sister love haze
& I’m a-driftin thro my drug days
& the super-shlinky soul light’s
Shinin thro…
Theres a rollercoaster risin man
Above the blue horizon &
You’ll never put a price upon
The way I’m feelin now
You’d never know

Nelson & TC
Because the way I’m feelin now
I didn’t even know that it existed
The way Im feelin ultra-groovy
Brothers & my sisters
& I might be a nobody
But I’m the star o’ my own movie
Up, down, turnaround
I’m ultra-groovy high

Nelson
& it’s true what the say about livin
I guess yer live until yer die
Cos the time we spend must fly
I’m livin on an ultra groovy high

TC
& now I’m ultra groovy high,
Ive found an oasis
I’m gonna see places I’ve never seen before
Opening doors, breaking yer laws
I’m feelin like a force of nature hollerin
The valley of Kings now I’ve spread my wings
& I can fly

***

TC
You’re right, these pills are hard core, bruv
I’m fuckin’ flyin here

Nelson
Told ya

TC
You’ll diddly do for me brother – gizza cuddle
{they cuddle}
Like I said, there’s a wicked rave on down the Bongo club tonight – its call’d Mumbo Jumbo – fancy a boogie

Nelson
Do bears shit in the woods

TC
Dunno, don’t get bears in the big city, but what we do get is proper phat phumpin beats – lets go – word to the wise tho, don’t try any of that ‘up, down turnaround’ shit, you’ll get slapped for being a nobhead – but first, we’re going shopping – theres a nice little retro shop down the Grassmarket – get you out of those townie threads – you look like my granddad

Nelson
What yer talking about, this lot cost me a fortune

TC
Well they saw you comin… Trust me, you look like a dick, now come on before the shops shut

Exit TC & Nelson


THE CONCHORDIA FOLIO

“Its worth a pop, right, to try & knock that Shakespeare
Off his feffin’ perch!

 

Interview: Damian Beeson Bullen

The world’s leading exponent of Dramatic Blank Verse

***

Articles:

Composing Conchordia, Provence

Composing Conchordia: Vaulting the Lockdown

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