The Pear Tree
Aug 16-27 (12:45)
Mundus Vult Decipi
My lad, Damo Junior, runs the Mumble. As I was coming up to Scotland for my debut stand-up comedy show at that there Edinburgh Fringe, he goes, ‘dad, you’re a comedy expert, why don’t you do some reviews for me.’ Now I don’t really like our Damo, ever since he chang’d his surname from Brogden to Bullen, saying he wanted a more glamourous cognomen – poncey twat! But at the end of the day, even if he might be a complete nobhead, he’s my nobhead & I love ‘im.
My first foray into the world of comedy critique began yesterday when I were flicking thro that there Fringe guide & I saw Lee Kyle, England’s Best Comedian. Now, my mate Jimmy Bruce, & most of the Burnley Miners, think I’m the funniest guy in England, so I went along to check out the competition.
Bloody hell! He was sh!te. Funniest man in England? He’s not even the funniest man in Newcastle. I remember meeting some Geordies in Benidorm last year – they were well funny, especially Mad Mick, but this Lee Kyle is definitely in the wrong job, like. I mean, he thought he was telling jokes, but nobody else in the room did. You could actually hear a fly buzzing about in the awkward silences after his so-call’d punchlines. Nah, bag of sh!te. In fact, I heartily recommend that there Lee Kyle gets some sort of bowel irrigation done on the NHS, cos the amount of shite that came out of his mouth was astonishing – it just kept coming & coming!
Watching Lee Kyle’s dodgy attempt at stand-up reminded me of when I were doing my National Service & got one of them candiru fish stuck down my penile shaft. Fucking painful, & after ten excrutiating minutes with Lee I was wanting the fish! If that’s the standard of the ‘comedians’ in Edinburgh this is gonna be one hard slog, like, reviewing for our lad. But while I’m here, if you wanted to see the real best comedian of England, get yourself down to my show next week; Take My Wives, Strathmore Bar, Aug 20-27 (21:15).
Damo Brogden
Mumble Comedy 